Take that, MAGIC!

Things I Love (Today)

1. Zach Galifinakis
2. An impending American Movie Day, involving THIS and maybe THAT or THAT. But honestly, I want to see THIS (see #1).
3. Skeletons
4. Leases that are about to end.
5. My mom
6. 80 Degree TX mornings. Absolutely glorious.

Laser Pointer is spelled with 1 "s", 0 "z"s

I finished Watchmen in time to go see it tomorrow with Cookie and Eileen and am so excited to be seeing it at the notorious GALAXY HIGHLAND 10 here in central ATX, for reasons I'll explain in a second. The book was great (my favorite part was when Dr. Manhattan explained his anachronistic hold on time) and I am really excited to see the live-action depiction of the graphic novel, but I am most excited about seeing it at the Galaxy...mainly because I hope that my favorite little Napoleon-in-training is there, the Galaxy Highland 10 manager. It's like they took Dwight Schrute and transferred him from Dunder Mifflin to a crappy theater and let him rule...and rule with an iron fist.

Our first encounter with Mr. Manager (as I will now refer to him as) was in the line outside Galaxy 10 before we saw the Dark Knight. As we waited under a heat lamp on a hot Texas evening we saw him, wearing his too-large Manager's jacket and shooing away from the box-office those who it appeared the theater's "strict curfew policy" would apply to (teeny-boppers, 15-year-old boys with mustaches, etc. etc.). My friends and I laughed, embarassed for the poor kids who now needed a ride home, but after a while we were finally let indoors and after we chose seats, I found the ladies room to powder my nose, almost completely forgetting Mr. Manager even existed. Until I returned to my seat.

I was about halfway up the stairs when I heard not a crowd of mumbles but one resounding voice echoing down the stairwell, "Now, let's talk about laser pointers..." Mr. Manager was back, pacing in the front of the theater, lecturing his 18 and over (remember the shooing?) audience on the many ways you could get kicked out/fined/arrested in his theater...and there were MANY. It was amazing. What I learned:

IF YOU TALK TOO LOUDLY YOU WILL BE:

• KICKED OUT
• POSSIBLY ARRESTED

IF YOU USE A LASER POINTER (a funny trick in 1998 if you were 12) YOU WILL BE:

• FINED (It apparently ruins the Digital screens)
• KICKED OUT OF THE THEATER
• POSSIBLY ARRESTED

IF YOUR CELL PHONE RINGS DURING THE MOVIE YOU WILL BE:

• KICKED OUT
• NO REFUND

IF YOU ARE CAUGHT ILLEGALLY TAPING YOU WILL BE:

• FINED
• KICKED OUT
• ABSOLUTELY ARRESTED
• MR. MANAGER GETS A $1000 BONUS (He explained this almost smugly...a challenge?)

After this tirade went on for a good 10 minutes (we were a very polite audience providing only unbelieving nervous chuckles rather than the kind of heckling he deserved) he ended by trying to sell us the Dark Knight Joker t-shirt for $20.

I almost forgot about this entirely until I brought it up to Eileen the other day and found out he had done the same thing in her Dark Knight screening, which got my hopes up...MAYBE HE'LL DO IT AGAIN! Eileen claims she'll yell at him this time, but we both decided I needed to just walk up to him, give him a big hug, and say "That's what you really wanted, wasn't it?"

A girl can dream, can't she?

Yoda

Overheard at the Green Muse coffee shop this afternoon:

"Hey, you wanna see me look like Yoda?" - Some 8-year-old kid

One.

1. Ann, you are the catalyst in all our lives.
2. It reached a balmy 84 degrees today in our fair city and Bethany told me that her co-workers were complaining about the unseasonable (does that exist in TX?) weather, which made me wonder why we Texans are never satisfied. We complain there is no Winter, which there really isn't, but then also complain that there is no Fall or Spring, but we do have one of those...it's called Winter. Our days just don't match the rest of the country. I blame it on TV and movies...if we weren't constantly hit with constant reminder of what a white Christmas looked like, or wonder why J. Crew sells "summer sweaters", we'd be better off...
3. Yesterday felt like a stolen day, because I did not have to go anywhere for my jury summons, as the jury selection was "complete." What a glorious thing.
4. I've had an library card for about two months and have grown to LOVE it. Conservative current savings by using my APL Card: $70.83.
5. So, I'm reading this book...I've actually read A LOT of things lately. I'll go in order of completion...

• Uglies, Scott Westerfield - I started this book because, like with a boy, I'll give anything moderately attractive a chance. I get sucked into terrible YA novels like Bethany gets sucked into terrible Lifetime movies. And, at first, I was NOT disappointed. This book was such an amazing surprise, turning out to be a satirization of consumerism and body image in the media...I couldn't wait to read the sequel. Pretties did not live up to the first, but was told from the POV of an unreliable narrator, so I let it slide, hoping for an awesome finale. In Specials, everything goes truly, truly wrong. Westerfield lets the most obnoxious character be the influencer for the first half of the novel (which I, admittedly, skimmed) and banked too much on the reader's attachment to the main character from the first book, even when she began acting like a WACK-A-DOO, lacking any humanity. In the end, because I was built up so much by the first novel, I was incredibly disappointed in the last two novels and can not even recommend them to anybody. I have not been let down so much by a book since I found out the Inheritance Trilogy somehow morphed into a 4-part cycle--and you who know me, know that was a BIG deal.
• Good-bye, Chunky Rice, Craig Thompson - On a recommendation from a friend, I picked up this graphic novel at Half-Price Books for $2.50 and it sat on my shelf for a while at work. The other day, when I found time on my hands, I finally sat down to read it and was blown away. At once heartbreaking, intricate, and life-affirming, I think this should be required reading for anyone in their 20's. One of my favorite drawings is on page 76 where the ship's captain is explaining everything that can go wrong on a boat. Read.
• Ender in Exile, Orson Scott Card - Card published this direct-sequel to Ender's Game only in November, 2008, and since I just finished reading all of the Shadow Series, and (through that handy Wikipedia) I found out a Shadow character pops up in it, I decided to give it a chance. I was not disappointed, although it is hard to feel as close to Ender as you naturally do to Bean...which I think is done on purpose. No one, not even Valentine, feels like they are truly Ender's confidante, so naturally the reader can't feel that way, either. Nonetheless, I recommend it completely, particularly to follow the last published Shadow book, Shadow of the Giant.