Laser Pointer is spelled with 1 "s", 0 "z"s

I finished Watchmen in time to go see it tomorrow with Cookie and Eileen and am so excited to be seeing it at the notorious GALAXY HIGHLAND 10 here in central ATX, for reasons I'll explain in a second. The book was great (my favorite part was when Dr. Manhattan explained his anachronistic hold on time) and I am really excited to see the live-action depiction of the graphic novel, but I am most excited about seeing it at the Galaxy...mainly because I hope that my favorite little Napoleon-in-training is there, the Galaxy Highland 10 manager. It's like they took Dwight Schrute and transferred him from Dunder Mifflin to a crappy theater and let him rule...and rule with an iron fist.

Our first encounter with Mr. Manager (as I will now refer to him as) was in the line outside Galaxy 10 before we saw the Dark Knight. As we waited under a heat lamp on a hot Texas evening we saw him, wearing his too-large Manager's jacket and shooing away from the box-office those who it appeared the theater's "strict curfew policy" would apply to (teeny-boppers, 15-year-old boys with mustaches, etc. etc.). My friends and I laughed, embarassed for the poor kids who now needed a ride home, but after a while we were finally let indoors and after we chose seats, I found the ladies room to powder my nose, almost completely forgetting Mr. Manager even existed. Until I returned to my seat.

I was about halfway up the stairs when I heard not a crowd of mumbles but one resounding voice echoing down the stairwell, "Now, let's talk about laser pointers..." Mr. Manager was back, pacing in the front of the theater, lecturing his 18 and over (remember the shooing?) audience on the many ways you could get kicked out/fined/arrested in his theater...and there were MANY. It was amazing. What I learned:

IF YOU TALK TOO LOUDLY YOU WILL BE:

• KICKED OUT
• POSSIBLY ARRESTED

IF YOU USE A LASER POINTER (a funny trick in 1998 if you were 12) YOU WILL BE:

• FINED (It apparently ruins the Digital screens)
• KICKED OUT OF THE THEATER
• POSSIBLY ARRESTED

IF YOUR CELL PHONE RINGS DURING THE MOVIE YOU WILL BE:

• KICKED OUT
• NO REFUND

IF YOU ARE CAUGHT ILLEGALLY TAPING YOU WILL BE:

• FINED
• KICKED OUT
• ABSOLUTELY ARRESTED
• MR. MANAGER GETS A $1000 BONUS (He explained this almost smugly...a challenge?)

After this tirade went on for a good 10 minutes (we were a very polite audience providing only unbelieving nervous chuckles rather than the kind of heckling he deserved) he ended by trying to sell us the Dark Knight Joker t-shirt for $20.

I almost forgot about this entirely until I brought it up to Eileen the other day and found out he had done the same thing in her Dark Knight screening, which got my hopes up...MAYBE HE'LL DO IT AGAIN! Eileen claims she'll yell at him this time, but we both decided I needed to just walk up to him, give him a big hug, and say "That's what you really wanted, wasn't it?"

A girl can dream, can't she?

Yoda

Overheard at the Green Muse coffee shop this afternoon:

"Hey, you wanna see me look like Yoda?" - Some 8-year-old kid